Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
