i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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