What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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