This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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