it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
