i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
