Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Less talking, more tequila
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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