You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
