Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
