I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize