Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
