what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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