So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
