Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
