girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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