Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
