who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
