I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
