he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
