Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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