I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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