So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
