I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
