I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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