ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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