did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
