Moan for me like Helen Keller
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
