There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
