And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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