She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
