Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
