Sponge bath it is.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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