Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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