It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
