I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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