I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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