Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
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