She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
They have beer where we have blood.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
