Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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