i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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