i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
