there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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