Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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