I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My ATM looks so different sober.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
