Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
