so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
