she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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