so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
