Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
