If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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