It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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