lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
