I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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