HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Let's get the cat blown out
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
