Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
