i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
