it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Houston, we have a blender
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
