I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize