I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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