You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize