Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize