I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
