I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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