I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
