apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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