We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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