you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
