Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
