She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
